I might have occasionally acted like a slut before with my gangbangs, but now it was just me being easily aroused and comfortable with allowing it to show on my body. That’s what happens when you are a sex object, and loving it, at the office every day.The band was getting ready to start the first sessions. I was leaning into Tim as he quizzed me about one of the outfits, getting me to describe it in detail, especially in the deion of how my body wasn’t covered. I was aware of Jake’s hand and fingers stroking my back but didn’t think anything of it, just enjoying the feel of his hand on me. He wasn’t the only one, either. As I leaned into Tim, he moved his hand to my thigh and lightly stroked his fingers on the inside, not yet moving too high. I separated my knees a little more but his fingers remained close to my knees. They were both just warming me up and I knew it and that turned me on. These guys had become friends, with benefits, yes, but friends none the less. They. I should have felt relieved, possibly even elated. I didn't. I did what I thought was necessary to shock my wife into thinking about us. Our marriage. Our relationship. Our future. I left her no way out. On Friday, I would probably know if we had any future.I thought about who I was and what I wanted. Did I want this marriage to continue? Did I love Edie? I deliberately avoided telling her I loved her. I wasn't sure myself and so it was better not to mislead her if I had lost that love. How would I know? I once read that the test for love was to imagine your life without your partner. Divorce, death, whatever reason ... how would I carry on?Could I get past her deceit those many years ago and forgive her? At first I didn't think so. But now ... now I'm not so certain. She couldn't take it back. She couldn't make it right at this late date. Could I live with that as well? She had to admit to her sin before I could decide. She had to acknowledge that she had inflicted another deep.
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