Mack screwed the top off his beer and flung the cap at my head, hittingme on the brow. He removed the top from Beryl's drink and she threwit, bouncing it off my shoulder. They clinked their bottles togetherin a wordless toast, perhaps to celebrate the beginning of my totalruin as a man. Who could say what they were thinking at that moment.But I got a better sense of their intentions in the weeks thatfollowed.Mack became a frequent visitor to our home, often staying overnight.He liked to see me in sissy outfits, and praised Beryl when she put meinto especially shameful ones. For instance, early on she dressed mein nothing but duct tape. Unfortunately for me, it was the fancy typethey sell for decorating and crafts. There was one roll that was pinkwith red hearts, another that was white with red puckered lips, and afinal one that was pale fuchsia with eyes, which were decorated withCleopatra-type heavy kohl. She made me sit on a chair and the firstthing she did was to bind my. I did care for her, but I didn’t love her like I loved Jessica, Kara, Elyse, Jennifer, or for that matter, Kathy and Bethany.And that was the thing - I still loved Jessica. I might hate her for what she had done, and I might think the relationship was over, but that didn’t mean I didn’t love her. The problem was that it didn’t seem to matter anymore. All I wanted was for Jessica to talk to me, to tell me what she was thinking, and to decide together about our future, if there was one. After eight weeks, I didn’t think that there was. Jessica had thrown away our marriage, and more importantly, her medical career. I just didn’t get it.Nothing made any sense. Sometime during the week, the DNA test results would come back, and confirm that Rachel was my daughter. And then the real struggle would commence - to ensure that I had a chance to be with my daughter, to bond with her, and to let her know I loved her. From everything Gwen had told me, Carla was going to fight me tooth and nail,.
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