I looked at her and bemusedly said “I thought Michelle and Lori told you everything???” Cindy looked at me and very seriously and replied “I needed to hear it directly from you...” I told her there was no one serious even though I was causally dating a few women. I told her some of the ones I had dated really cared about me and loved being out at the ranch, however, I could see reservations in each of them when I told them I would be here for the rest of my life, this ranch surrounded by snow capped mountain peaks without a sign of man in sight.Cindy told me when were were dating and got serious she often envisioned spending the rest of her life with me living on the ranch, and even after we broke up, during stressful times during university and especially during her disintegrating marriage and very ugly divorce, she often found solace and refuge imagining herself back at the ranch...The more we talked the more I grew tense... A dull ache began again in my chest that pronounced. ‘I’ve had guys try to wow me with their muscles, their wit, their charm, and plenty of other things as well,’ she replied, ‘but none of that really mattered to me. They tried to buy me jewelry, lingerie, flowers, scented things, girly things, but none of that really mattered at all… especially not the lingerie!’ She had a point about the lingerie, but Aunt Shirley really was not much help. Saturday afternoon, I went to two area malls, trying to find the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for Claire. Every store had Valentine’s Day sales, even the gaming store, yet nothing seemed appropriate. I could not justify buying her a pound of coffee, or binoculars, or Sonic the Hedgehog, or a sheer bra, or more perfume, or platform boots, or overly-expensive southwestern art, or jewelry, or a giant poster, or more accessories for her iPod, or more candles, or… Saturday night, as we strolled hand-in-hand alongside the icy lake, I tried to ask Claire – without asking – what she would want for.
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