With women who’d been abused or raped, who started crying before anyone even touched them. She would start out with them, get them to the point that with her they could orgasm, tolerate penetration with a dildo, that sort of thing. She told me she’d seen me rescue a sub who was being forced onto the scene by an abusive husband, and so she trusted that I would never force something with one of her clients. And she was very clear, these women were clients, not romantic interests. She insisted that even though I was not the ‘therapist’, I could not have a personal relationship with these women because it would be taking advantage of a power differential, they would not have been able to say no, even if they wanted to. They’d been through too much. ‘It would start with just watching a movie while holding hands, or putting my arm around them. Then it would be hugging, then kissing. After a while we’d move to just trying to be comfortable naked, but not even touching. We’d try a back rub,. You should trust me on this. OK?’ I always had an optimist and trusting nature. Unlike my former friends who constantly warned me about trusting strangers, my mentors in the cult assured me that this was one of my greatest strengths. It was true that I usually ended up with violent guys, but according to my mentors, this was alright, because I was secretly masochistic and enjoyed being abused. I smiled at Ms. Clark. ‘I trust you.’ She kissed me on the forehead and patted my hair. ‘It is a privilege to have your trust. I prefer not to explain the whole process right now, but I will ask for your permission before every step. Deal?’ I nodded. She explained that before anything else, we have to do the piercings, because they will take a while to heal properly. She said that I would receive five piercings: one on the tip of my tongue, one under my lower lip, two on each nipple, and one of my clitoris. I did not have any piercings or tattoos before, because I was afraid that a potential.
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