My eyes grew misty thinking of my family, but I held back the loneliness and despair that welled inside me. I turned my head away, wiping my eyes under the pretense of pushing an unruly curl out of my face. Just then, the train began to slow. ‘Which station is this?’ I wondered aloud. It was enough to break the conversation, and turn it to a safer topic. He stood and walked to the window, then pivoted to face me once again. I expected him to announce the name of the station in answer to my question, but instead he appeared to be closely observing me. At first, I ignored him by pretending to be interested in the commotion of passengers outside. After nearly ten minutes, I could feel his gaze upon me still. I glanced up at him and caught his eye. ‘You are very pale. Have you eaten?’ He asked. ‘Not much. But it was sufficient.’ I replied. In truth, I had not eaten for at least a day. The loaf of bread given to me by the nuns on my departure from the hospital had been meant to last the. I fed my feet in, one at a time, to each leg, I could only pull them taught to my knees because of the trousers, but my mind became entranced in the feeling. Suddenly I heard someone walking up the side of path and I quickly removed the hose and started to put my shoes back on as my cousin rounded the corner. I must have had guilt written all over my face when she saw me, I quickly continued fastening my laces and hedged my cousin away from the scene, thankfully she hadn't seen the pantyhose. That was my first experience in donning a piece of female apparel and there were only a couple of other minor experiences until I reached the age of eleven.We had moved out of my grandmother's house and my mother and I were living in a unit, it was new and had a courtyard and garage. I had no inclination toward women's clothing for any reason for many years until one day I was putting on some roller skates, I had an odd feeling about the way the straps looked and how the were similar to a ladies.
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