We'd known each other seemingly forever, and had been classmates from the time we had both entered middle school. She had become my best friend in high school, but there was no physical relationship between us and, as she was even shyer than I was, there was little prospect of one. We had dated fairly regularly, but with her going to community college and me to the local branch of the state university we had problems maintaining contact. So it was really no surprise that when the big moment finally came, it wasn't with her.My day of reckoning started out without any indication that things were about to change in my life. I was involved in the drama department's latest presentation, a production of Bertold Brecht's "Mother Courage and Her Children". I was not in the play myself. Although I was a theater major (a perfectly useless major I would later admit), acting was not my strongest suit. My real talents lay in the technical aspects of the stage, and for this play I was in charge of. ‘Okay, so maybe not today. Tomorrow then.’ ‘But she’s supposed to be coming home tomorrow.’ Sarah shot me a knowing look. ‘You think that if you tell her, she’s going to have another heart attack.’ I bit my lip. ‘Well, she could, couldn’t she?’ ‘Becky–‘ She released a heavy sigh. ‘Yes, she might have another heart attack one day–who knows? But you heard the doctor. He said that all things considered, there are a lot of things in her favour. She’s never smoked–‘ Sarah held up her hand to tick off the items on her fingers ‘–she’s never drunk much alcohol, she’s not overweight.’ She paused, her expression softening again. ‘Honey, we can’t spend the rest of our lives–her life–not talking about things that might upset her.’ I stared down at the scar on my forearm, at the small tufts of thread emerging from either side at regular intervals, the long, reddened line extending from the back of my wrist almost to my elbow where it veered abruptly to the right. ‘Shouldn’t you have had those.
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