And yet, the kid in me notes the curious fear mixing with their gossiping greed. As a kid in the dubs, I grew up with the pip-pip-pop-pop symphony of gunfire. They grew up with clean spoons in mouths and no cans of spam. Bastards didn’t know shit about fear.They probably think of me as just another one of those mindless gangbangers you always hear about on the 4 o’clock news. The fat, small station moneymaker: crime and death, brother, crime and death. Another scary black man let loose on their streets… again. They ain’t exactly wrong, but they sure as hell ain’t exactly right either. They don’t know me. They got no right to measure me. And yet, I can’t really blame them for their twisty predilections.Self-doubt. Self-recrimination. Hate. And a crumpled dollar’s worth of short-changed self-pity. I’ve gone through the 12-steps of bullshit too many times to count. It’s all one big circle-jerk in plastic chairs with a plate of cookies and a dozen years of sob stories. If you’re real. Unka ek beta (20 years) aur ek beti (12 years) hai. Unka beta engineering krne k liye dusre city chala gya tha 2 saal pehle. Aur unki beti class 7 mei padhti hai. Unka ghar mera ghar se lagbhag 15 mins ki duri pe hai pr wo apni beti ki tuition ke liye daily humare ghar k paas aati hai. Jab tak unki beti ka tuition khatam na ho tab tak wo mere ghar pe mummy k sath baithkr baatein karti hai. Ek din ki baat hai. Unki beti ko school se koi science ka project mila tha aur kyunki mei science student tha islea unhone meri help maangi. Unhone mujhe agle din shaam ko apne ghar bulaya aur maine bhi haa kar di. Toh mei agle din unke ghar gaya. Unki beti ne darwaja khola. Unki beti muje project k bare mei batane lagi aur mein uska project banane mei busy ho gya. Kareeb adhe ghante baad richa aunty apne bedroom se bahar aayi. Unko dekhkr toh mere hosh hi udh gye. Wo black colour ki nighty pehen rakhi thi. Sleeveless hone ki wajah se kaafi hot lag rhi thi aur unhone andar bra nai pehne tha islea.
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