I could fake a southern accent, try and sound more like your dad…’ ‘No, you’ll be wonderful,’ she stretched up for a kiss. ‘It’ll be perfect, thank you!’ As he began to read, thankfully abandoning his fake southern accent, which was really quite dreadful, after only two pages, she closed her eyes to listen. The flickering firelight, her husband’s low voice, and the story contented her as nothing else she’d tried had done. Lulled by the story and her husband’s sweet gesture, she found herself truly happy for the first time since finding out that they wouldn’t be able to go home for Christmas- found herself thinking that maybe she was home after all. ‘Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night,’ he ended, as he closed the book. ‘A pretty good story,’ he remarked. ‘Nice holiday entertainment. But it could have used more sex.’ She burst out laughing. Glancing at the clock and setting the book aside, he stood up and held out his hand. ‘Come on,’ he tugged at her, ‘let’s go for a. . half-naked with part of me dangling, mashed between two glass plates!After exchanging a polite Hi, how’s it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, “Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway.” “OK, you take care now” Bubba (or Earl) replied and waved good-bye as though I’d been standing in the line at the grocery store.Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin.Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, “Oh I am Sooo! Sorry, the power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?”And that, Your Honour, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps...”The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said “Case Dismissed”.Young 10 year old Frank went to his mother and asked “Mum, where did I come from?” Mother, with sweat beading her brow, wishing that her husband was home.
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