I haven’t had a traffic ticket in over 20 years and never been arrested even when I deserved it. So what can I say?I’m a little proud of myself. Last night at the dinner, I intentionally set with my back to the rest of the diners when I could have set with my back to a wall. I stood there for several moments and made a conscious choice to trust. I didn’t know about half the people there. To most of you that is no big thing. I get that. To someone who has spent their life paranoid with decent reasons for their paranoia it’s a little bit of something. Will I make a habit of it? I don’t know. It’ll be a case by case basis. I did it that time though.What are my plans for the new year? Damned if I know. I’m going to relearn to meditate. Work on being more present when I’m with people. Spend time with a shrink if I can afford it. Find out what Darian is really like. See, in August of 2017, I became a new person. My neurological structure changed. Yet, almost the entire time since then I. Wanted to posess him, to entwine naked with him in a meadow full of wild flowers or in a bed with clean sheets.She tried oh so hard to put him out of her mind as she hurried home.She rushed upstairs calling for her maid to fetch her bath.The maid Vicki came running, “Why mistress what on earth has happened.”“Nothing I need a bath,” Annie insisted.“Afore dinner, what’s happened?” she asked.“Nothing!” Annie insisted and blushed profusely.“Thee’s been fucked ‘ent thee,” she observed, “I knew thee’d push some lad too far and he’d have thee.”“No!” Annie lied, “Well yes, Tom the blacksmith I need to wash myself.”“Too late for that mistress, when thee’s fucked thee’s fucked, still there’s one good thing.”Vicky exclaimed.“And what pray is that?” Annie asked.“Thee ent no virgin is thee, we can have some fun now,” Vicky suggested.“Fun?” Annie asked incredulously“Wi me fist, fist fucking, its what all the married ladies does mistress,” Vicki eplained, “ I’ll fist thee if thee’s amenable, long.
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