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“Well, yes,” I replied, trying to be conciliatory.“Been planning this long then?” he asked, point blank.I sighed. “Jeff, our marriage has been shit for some time,” I started.“Yes. Why is that?” he interrupted, putting both hands on the table.“Because you are a pig of a man, and I’m sick of the sight of you!” I wanted to scream as the irritation surged. With a HUGE effort, I kept my mouth shut, and eventually managed to get, “I think we just grew apart,” out. Which, strictly speaking, was true, if far from the complete truth.“You mean, YOU grew apart. The moment you took that job, our little life here wasn’t good enough for you, was it, Jan? You know what? You’re a snob, Jan. Pure and simple. I was happy. It’s YOU who wasn’t.”I was astounded. In eighteen years, Jeff had never spoken to me in that manner. Jeff was always respectful. That was part of the problem and why I responded so cruelly to him, I think, on reflection. That little bit of self-analysis wouldn’t come for quite some. Q: How do you know if you have an overbite? A: If your eating pussy and it tastes like shit! Q: If women with big tits work at Hooters, where do women with only one leg work?A: IHOP!Q: When is an Elf not an Elf?A: When she's sucking your cock, then she's a goblin.Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?A. Call her and tell her.Q: What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?A: Their last big hit was "The Wall"Q: What is white at the top and black at the bottom?A: Society!Q: Have you heard the one about the lesbian that took Viagra? A: She couldn’t get her tongue back in her mouth for a month! Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?A: Because they have cotton balls.Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?A: 45 lbs.Q: What do you call a virgin on a water bed?A: A cherry float.Q: What’s soft and warm when you go to bed, but hard and stiff when you wake up?A: VomitQ: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?A: A.
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