I will not come in from outside,and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.10. I will not sit in the middle of the livingroom, and lick my crotch11. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’,so when I play with him and he makes that noise,it’s usually not a good thing.P.S. Dear God:When I get to Heaven,may I have my testicles back?Some Random Thoughts... Someone Just Honked to get me out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.So I was at the bar last night and the Waitress Screamed... “Anyone know CPR?”I said, “Hell I know the entire alphabet.”Everyone laughed... Well everyone except this one guy!Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up too!Unless you are in prison!From a friend of J & G.Three pilots “flew west” on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. ‘In honor of the season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.’The Army helicopter pilot thumbed through his pockets. "Here Sam. Has it started yet?" Her husband was laying back in his lawn chair staring at the sky, he simply grumbled his negative reply. He had always thought of himself as an amateur astronomer.Susan saw the shadowed movement of her sister in laws neighbours and opened the front door to see what they were all doing. Quietly, so as not to wake her brothers family, she crept out to the front side walk.Gail was seated on the steps to her home, the darkness hiding the tears that followed from her eyes. Hours earlier her husband had told her he was leaving her. She had to escape the silence of her home, every direction reminiscent of her marriage and husband, and to let her son sleep. She knew not, nor cared, why so many of her neighbours were outside at the moment.Josie finally got Jasmine back to sleep, and stood up to move her baby back into its crib. A voice through the open window caught her attention and after placing the slumbering child on her side and the light fleece blanket to.
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