First about how Jill’s evening with Charlotte had been, and then as calm as you like about my sexual performance. Dee talked about me like I wasn’t there and like I was some breeding animal whose performance needed to be dissected and discussed to establish my market price. Dee ending up telling Jill she rated me ‘three-and-a-half out of five, good job but with a few areas to work on,’ adding a final verbal slap that she thought I was done for the night and wouldn’t be much use to Jill for the rest of the night. “Sorry, honey, I think I’ve used him all up. Fingers and a plastic friend for you tonight, girlfriend.” Hoots of laughter, the natural conclusion between the two partners-in-crime.I was left alone in our bedroom as first Jill headed downstairs and then Dee, borrowing one of Jill’s nightdresses followed her downstairs. Gathering my thoughts, I pulled on a bathrobe and headed downstairs so I wouldn’t feel quite so left out. Over the last few months, I’d learned more and more. I layed there for a bit and thought about what she said. Had she had an idea of what I was thinking about or was she just thinking I was visualizing something I saw on tv. I dont know. I guess I was tired cause I must have passed out and woke up the next morning to the sun shining in my face from my window. I looked outside and saw my mother feeding the horses she loved. She looked up and smiled at me. I smiled and left her site. I had neglected to be close to her all day, barely said anything to eachother even at dinner. I was still embarrassed. I went to my room and shut my door and just played with my phone. She knocked then came in "your father wont be home tonight, he has business outside of town as usual" alright I replied. "why have you been so quiet today? Is it cause of last night?" im just not in the mood to talk i told her hoping she would just leave my room then it clicked for her. "was it me"I didnt know what to say. I didnt want to lie, she always knows when I lie but I.
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