Did mom ever tell you I finely did find a man and I got married? I was 26; His name is Ron, (Ronald) he had an 8-year old son (Josh) when I married him. Ron was 30 at the time. He was married before and his wife died of a Kidney infection. Because of everything that we did when we were young I thought I would never love any one man. I always held up any boyfriend to my high sexual standards, most men could not handle my sleeping around. When I found Ron, I kept that part to myself.Ron seem to draw me out and he replaced that deep need in me for sex with different men. He filled that space that you left vacant when you ran off. I never told him about us or about anyone else, I wanted to tell him later but by then it was too late and now as I look back I am so ashamed of all those nasty things I had done. If you were not my brother Oh well that is a different time and different story. Right now my problem is with Josh and of course it has to do with sex. He is now in his second year at. I said, “Well Beth has never been with a black guy but we have discussed it, would you want to fuck Beth?” Beth says, “Oh my god, I can’t believe you just said that, well actually I can but…wow.” I said, “Well, I didn’t say that he could or that you wanted to fuck him, I just asked if he wanted to.” Jay didn’t know what to say so didn’t say anything, so I asked again to which he said, “well, yea she’s sexy as hell” I asked Beth if she wanted to fuck us both and she said she was nervous and wasn’t sure. I said well, you would like to fuck him right you’re just nervous about having two guys there and never having been with a black guy before. She nervously said yes, and I said well that nervousness is never going to go away until you do it. so if you want to do it, just say yes even if you are nervous. She meekly said yes. I had jay follow us back to our apartment.On the drive to the apartment Beth and I talk about what is happening and talking about what happens now, how do we get.
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