Let me guess ... you paid with a card.”“Oh Shit!”“That’s a yes. You should call your banking partner and cancel it?”They’re Number 3 on my speed dial.“National Australia Bank. How may I direct your call?”“You people own the National Bank of New Zealand?”“We do. How may I direct your call?”“I may have problems with my credit card.”“I’ll ring through.”“Visa MasterCard. Please listen carefully to the following options:“I don’t want a machine I want a human.”When I shut up the phone said: “To register a complaint about possible illegal use press 4.”I pressed 4.“Your call is important to us. Due to the high volume of calls, your call will be answered by the next available operator.” Muzak took over.I asked the man behind the counter, “Jerry? Is there a National Australia Bank branch in the airport?”He pointed right. “Second right, second left.”“Thank you, Jerry.”“You’re welcome, ma’am.”That came with the first genuine smile I’d seen since we’d arrived.Second right, second left ... NAB .... As it turned out, the break was not the kind I was expecting. Four men came storming into the saloon, and one shouted, “WHERE THE HELL IS BART MCSWAIN? HE SHOT MY BROTHER, AND I DEMAND SATISFACTION!”This was one of those challenges that no man of the times could turn down and maintain his self-respect. I laid my cards on the table and stood up. “I am Bart McSwain, and who are you accusing me of killing?”“You killed John Chambers, and I aim to kill you, you bastard.”“Hell, Chambers was shooting at me first, and I just protected myself.”“You are a liar! Draw or die where you stand.” Chambers reached for his gun at his thigh, and I drew my revolver from the left holster. Of course I beat him, and I put one bullet into his chest just to the left of his breastbone. The hollow-point bullet did its thing and Chambers died of a monster hole in his heart. He did get off a shot, but the bullet only dug a hole in the floor. The expanded bullet never made an exit wound, so there was very little.
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