And Peggy burst into tears and immediately left the table.“What?” I asked Sarah. “What happened?”“She thinks this is it,” Sarah said. “You’re leaving.”“No! ... Oh, HELL no! That’s just so...”Tad was looking uncertain, looking first at Sarah and then over to where I was suddenly speaking too loudly and coming off as being angry at everyone in the room.Seeing Tad’s confusion brought me back closer to equilibrium. “Tad! Tad, I’m not leaving! Not for good. I just want to go get my stuff! It’s ... it’s nothing at all, son!”Sarah hugged the little guy, turned to me and said, “Go talk to her.”I found Peggy out back of the house. She’d already stopped crying.“Peg, what’s going on?”“You’re leaving.”“Not for good! Jeez, I just want to go see my Dad, and get my truck. My clothes ... you know?”“Okay.”“Okay,” I repeated. “Okay – what? Okay, you understand? Is that what you mean, or ... what do you... ?”“Yeah. Yeah, I understand.” But she said it in a sullen tone that suggested anything but. Only girls were entitled to love and attention.Only girls could give thatlove and attention. The younger the girl was, the more love and attentionshe would receive. The prettier she was and the more things she did toplease other girls the more love she would get. She thought it throughfrom some of the things that Katie had said before. Her sister was cuddledand loved. The prettier she was, the more attention she got. Her Mummy wasthe one that love came from . Because he was a boy he didn't get that loveand attention.Simples! She thought..except it wasn't. She tried to see asituation where an older girl might get that same love and attention.Given the way Katie had looked last night .she could certainly get thatlove from a girl. That love was available but it was called Lesbian love.She tried to imagine her and Katie in that situation and blushed at thevery thought of it. Or should that have been blushed and gushed? With theexception of a snog or two as a teen, girl love was not.
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