After introducing ourselves I invited her to dinner which is when the bad vibes began.Yes, I should have realized going to an all-you-can-eat Spam buffet on our first date was a tactical error. She didn't seem overly enthusiastic about my Amos and Andy impersonations either before suddenly changing the subject and asked if I liked jazz. I immediately answered "No," thinking she said 'jizz'.After clearing that up she invited me to see legendary jazz trumpeter Miles Davis at a downtown club. Being white I knew nothing about jazz so she filled me in. For starters, in Europe he is known as Kilometers DavisAt the venue, free heroin was handed out at the door. I passed, being content to settle on my marijuana which was called a "gateway" drug and I was determined to never let my gate grow rusty from disuse. I surprisingly enjoyed the show even if the loon did play with his back to the audience. She was educating me and I had a few things to teach her as well. We spent the next few hours. His dad was a lawyer. Bill was a senior, and captain and quarterback of the football team. The kid in the passenger seat was Kenny, aka Hands. He was one of the wide receivers. His dad owned a chain of car lots.Hands looked back as she settled in, “Hey, Mrs. Stevens.”Lisa smiled back. She always liked Kenny.As they pulled away, Bill looked into his rear view mirror. “We need to make a quick stop, but don’t worry. It’s on the way.”A few minutes later found them parked in front of a liquor store. “Come on, Mrs. T. No one will ever know.”“I’ll know. Sorry, Bill, but I am not buying you alcohol. The last thing I need is to find out tomorrow you wrapped this car around a tree.”“But, we’re not even going to drink it. I just need to replace the bottle from my dad’s liquor cabinet before my parents get home on Friday.”They went back and forth for ten minutes. “Fine. Stay in the car.”Lisa was not happy, but she was tired of arguing.With bottle in hand, Lisa was standing at the counter to pay.
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