Ye dekh dikshu b thoda sa exite ho gayi or mujhe kiss karne lagi… mai apna hath uski kameez k upar se he uski bra me daalne laga but uski kammez itni tight thi ki possible he nahi tha k mera hath andar ja pata.. so usne mujhe aisa karne se rok diya but mai kaha maanne wala tha maine usse kaha k jaan plss kamiz utar do na pehle to usne mana kiya k koi aa jayenga to bahot badi prblm ho jayengi but mere kaafi samjhane k baad wo maan gayi or mujhe ijazat de di k mai uski kamiz utaru ….Dosto ye meri life ka first experience tha k mai apni gf ko nude dekhu …. Maine bina kisi type ki der karte hue uski kamiz ko uske badan se alag kar diiya or uski kamiz utarne k baad to meri aankhe khuli ki khuli he reh gayi….. kya boobs the uske ek white or wo b white color ki bra me kaid mano jald se jald wo bra se bahar aana chahte ho ….Mai bra k upar se he uske 32 k boobs ko chusne laga or janwaro jaisa unhe dabane laga .. dikshu ko thoda pain hua or usne mujhse kaha jaan plss thoda aaram se…mai out of. I was frightened of life 'out there.'How would I ever integrate?What could I do?I have no qualifications.I didn't even finish high school.It was too overwhelming to contemplate.Conversely it felt safe in here.It was true I suppose that I was institutionalized.Even if I couldn't remember it, I'd clearly spent so much time herethat it became a haven.But I knew I had to be brave or I would never evolve. And morespecifically I suppose, never leave.The medications blunted my emotions. Although I still felt things. Toan extent. Everything was just more subdued. It was if my colour wheelhad been ransacked and all the bright ones discarded leaving the moresubtle hues. I know it had to be done. Things had to be that way.Trouble was it made my interaction with people much more pedestrian. Iknew I should make friends, it was just really hard. With one exceptionthough.Tim. Once he was shaved, showered and suitably treated he was probablythe most enticing company of all the choices I had.It's not.
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