'I love your sense of dress', he said slavishly, his fat lips wet with the constant licking his tongue was supplying with copious amounts of saliva.My eyes were locked on his mouth, my labia were as wet as his lips, so when I replied, slightly giddy, 'You mean my lack of dress', I could feel the slight warmth, as some pee ran down my inner thigh.'How much is lack-off dress', he retorted, he was very close to me, and I found it very hard to control my bladder, my pee was running inside my sandal, and made me feel even more naked than I was.'What you see on my body, is all I have', and as I spoke he made his first move, putting his hand on my exposed midriff.His touch made my heart flutter, as it pumped my hot blood furiously around, my nipples and clitoris swelled in sexual anticipation, I could feel my whole body contort, as I pushed my vulva against his thigh, his hand slipped down my narrow waist and slipped under my short hemline, and cupped my nude bum cheek, his fingers seeking. Easy isn’t even the right word for it. Blessed is a better one. By the end of that summer I thought I knew true pain. The loss of Sasha. The loss of my child. The loss of my path. These losses brought me pain the likes of which I had never known existed, let alone felt. All that pain provided me with a new respect for fear. As with everyone, I had felt fear in the past. But this new fear, brought on by actual loss, actual pain… this was fear on steroids. I let it consume me for a time. I almost let it take me. My fear of death palled in comparison to the looming shadow of my fear of living. Aoife saved me that night on my knees, next to the bed Sasha and I had shared. She pressed an unseen pause button, which allowed me the opportunity to get a glimpse of my fear from a different perspective. It allowed me the opportunity to face, understand and finally make peace with my pain, instead of blindly running from it in fear. I thought I understood fear and pain. How one fed off the.
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