I loved watching them on campus. Guys did nothing for me.Ronny would tell me how I’d be shocked if I knew who was gay. He claimed a number of guys that I knew were still closeted. I guessed correctly on a few of them and was way off on others. Ronny and I discussed different girls. Ones he thought were lesbians, sluts, or good choices for me. He would try to steer me towards different girls and would get jealous if I seemed too interested in one.During one of those late night talks after a few beers, I told Ronny about my high school experimentation with homosexuality and how I did enjoy butt fucking and getting fucked. To say that Ronny got excited by my confession would be a bit of an understatement. It became a nightly discussion about my sex experiences and his take on what I should experience next.What it boiled down to was that I willing to engage in a few sexual acts with guys – getting blow jobs, and getting and giving anal. No kissing. No relationships. Ronny said he could. She mourns for the bright, bubbly glow of her friend’s personality that is no longer shining upon the world. And she mourns for the future that everyone had lost, all the exciting and happy and proud moments of life that none of them are ever going to have again.With her seemingly endless flow of tears still trickling down on to Ghok’s shoulder, Rachele says her final goodbyes to her best friend. She had confronted all the awkward, painful and distressing thoughts that she has been artfully dodging ever since leaving Vulta, at a growing cost to her sanity. She has accepted that she is pregnant and that she will remain so for many more months. She has acknowledged the tragedy of what had happened on that moon, particularly to her friend. She has made a frank and honest confession to herself about her terrible, careless choices and accepted their moral and physical repercussions. Yet as difficult a process as it is, Rachele is ever mindful of the fact that the alien responsible for it.
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