On the sofa one day, I had just spent in her when I felt a little hand tickling between our bellies, and Tommy, who had tottered up to us, said, “Don’t hurt Lotty, der’s a good Wattie.” We settled that Tom was too young to notice or recollect what he saw, but I now think different.Winter was coming on, she used to be sent to a circulating library to fetch books, the shop was some distance off, a few houses, long garden-walls, and hedges were on the road. I used to keep out, or go out just before she went, and we fucked up against the walls. I took to going to church in the evening also, to the intense delight of my mother, but it was to fuck on the road home. One day, hot in lust, we fucked standing on the lobby near my bedroom, my mother being in the room below, the cook in the kitchen. We got bold, reckless, and whenever we met alone, if only for an instant, we felt each other’s genitals. At last we found the servant’s privy one of the best places. I have described its situation. I feel the pressure of her scarf around my eyes, feel her knot it securely behind my head with her strength, a strength greater than mine. ‘Can you see?’ Her breath is warm and smoky… I like that. ‘No, it is black… totally black.’ A tingle of fear runs through my testicles… * * * The wind howls and throws out cold invisible tentacles to probe the vulnerable overlaps of our clothing. She shivers, her long shiny brown hair blowing across her elegant features, and I catch hold of her hand as though to stop her being swept away. Culver Cliff: the most easterly point of the Island… and for many the tragic point of departure. A bunch of flowers propped up forlornly against a fence post with a card flapping in the wind. I walk up to it and attempt to read it but the ink is already fading. I have been here myself in the past, I may yet end it here… but not today. Seagulls wheel above us in the grey November sky screeching as they do. It is time for us to go… * * * She brings the flogger.
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