You opened my eyes and I told my mom all that happened."I can dream, eh?So, here we were in North Tonawanda. I suddenly wanted to write to a friend or two in Springfield.I went looking for my sheet of paper. I knew I had kept it in one certain place. And it was not there.Oh, no. No. It could not be.Mom could not remember if she put it some place else or if I had even packed it for our move.Well, wait a minute. I knew I had seen it shortly after arriving. It had to be in this house. It was not left behind.I never did find it. And at one point I know I vowed to myself to find a real hiding place to keep anything that I valued. I did not want anyone. Anyone. To be able to discard any of my life in a whim.I know I was sad about this. I tried to remember if I had really looked at that page. Sometimes I could look at a page and it was like taking a photograph. I could see the names and numbers. But it was a glance. It wasn't a full stare at it kind of thing. Darn. Darn. Darn.Those friends. Our relationship started out innocent enough, we just corresponded online and then we got into the whole cyber-sex thing. He gave me some very nice orgasms with descriptions of what he wanted to do to me and eventually I knew we’d have to meet in person. To be honest, I thought I could end the relationship before it went too far, but that plan went out the window when one of my friends phoned one day to tell me she’d seen my husband at a bar with another woman. I felt a range of emotions that I think everyone who is betrayed experiences. It was like someone had hit me in the stomach. I had no idea what to do about it and I lost touch with reality for a while. I didn’t have the courage to confront my husband and I didn’t get out of bed for a few days, faking being sick. When I was well enough to get out of bed I reacted by getting furious, and I asked him about this woman. He confessed and promised to break it off and start fresh, but somehow it wasn’t good enough. It’s not something.
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