She dropped it and turned slightly to rach for her pajama top top and I caught a flash of the side of her breast and then she had the top on. She lowered her panty and her bare bottom was so round and taunt and then regretly her pajama bottom was on. Lisa laid on her bed and said "let's talk" and I sat beside her.We talked about ten minutes and my sister fell asleep. I sat there looking at her pretty face. Lisa is one of those girls that looks like an advertisement of wholesome High School girls and she is two years older than I. But she cuts her black hair with long bangs and has a vamp look with her pale flesh and pretty face. Lisa is a slender girl with C breasts, breasts that I think about every day. My friend Stan claims that he has sex with his older sister but I do not believe it, but I think about lovely Lisa when I jerk off.I sit there and I should leave but my pretty older sister lays there in a drunken stupor. I touch her arm and she moans, I shake her and she just smiles.. Oh, I don't know what I wish. That I could have been abetter person, I guess, a different person, the person I saw myself asbeing in my mind's eye. I understand that no one's perfect, but I'vefailed so badly, fallen so far short. I'm not sure of anything anymore."She stopped, catching herself before going too far, passed the point ofno return. Then, in spite of herself, she decided to press on, to haveit all out once and for all. "I look at the mess I've made of things, ofmy life in general, and I look at the task ahead, what's necessary tostraighten it all out and the limited time left to do it, and I justwant to give up. I want to surrender. And, the worst part is, somehow Ican't."Grace was quiet for some moments, letting the crickets have their say,waiting for the break that signaled her own part in the night symphony.It came, eventually."Well, I'm glad you can't give up. It means you're still alive."Marcia laughed softly. "Oh I'm alive alright. If being alive means theability to.
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