Yellow, green, purple, blue. Glittering and twinkling. So pretty."That's right, Santa. Gaze deep into the crystal. Look at all the pretty colors. Watch the crystal as it spins around... and around... and around..." For good measure, Dominica drew a vial from a pocket in Her robe and held it up to his face. "Breathe in," She whispered, as She sprayed another squirt of mind control mist into his face. No use taking chances -- this was Santa Claus, after all!"Feel the warm relaxation spread through your face. Down your neck. Into your chest. And your arms. Feel your legs relax. And your feet relax. So loose, relaxed, and warm. So quiet. Watch the pretty colors, and let them fill your mind. No thoughts. Only the colors. Yellow, green, purple, blue."Santa's eyes were wide, the pupils large dark pools in the half-lit room. His jaw had fallen open, his mouth a small pink oval in the middle of his white beard."Good, Santa. Let everything go. Let it all go. Loose... and relaxed." She looked. “Listen you; I’m not that kind of woman! Got it?”So the little old Jewish man runs around the next block and faces her again. “Would you let me bite your breasts - just once - $10,000?!” She thinks about it for a while and says, “Hmmmmm, $10,000. Ok, just once, but not here. Let’s go to that dark alley over there.”So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, ‘Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?’“Nah,” says the little old Jewish man... “Costs too much!”These are compliments of J & B.Paraprosdokianis a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected - and oft times humorous:1. If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.2. I find it ironic that the.
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