We went through lots of potatoes those two weeks, but thankfully Mom had bought them in bulk, taking full advantage of Dad’s massive sailor payouts to buy many potatoes and keep the surplus frozen until needed in a deep freezer.Yes, I know, strange thing to think of, how Mom essentially killed Dad, but it was the best thing that she ever did for me and herself. She was a true battered woman, but she refused to let what he did to her happen to me. She always thought of me, even if not perfectly as some might call it. What excited me about this was that I might well give her another chance, a last one, to be a mother. I could sire my own half-brother, who would have Dad’s genes, but a much better father than I had. No one could prove any foul play, given that it was through deliberate neglect of his medical needs by Mom, needs that none knew that he had except her. Since she had him cremated quickly on grounds that she just didn’t have the money for a proper burial, she got away with. I?dnever known why she bothered to be my friend. We didn?t have anything incommon. I always felt she was going to drop me. If I went in theredemanding she give up her life then she might stop wanting to hang outwith me. My nights out with Rose were one of the highlights of my life.I didn?t want to risk losing them.But I steeled myself. I reminded myself that she had stolen my life. Shewasn?t Rose. I? I was. Sort of. Or I had been once, even though I wasPam now.I paused, thinking back over my life as a child in Barton and as anadult living with Jimmy. Then I got a hold of myself.?I?m going in there,? I said. Then I marched inside.?9Inside the pub it was gloomy and fairly crowded considering it was aSunday. I looped round to the bay window where Rose had been sitting andstopped, staring.It was a booth seat and she was sat very close to a tremendously dishyman. I was stunned by how attractive he was actually and recognisingthat was followed with a sour acknowledgment that I could never.
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