" Nancy, you must forgive yourself. I was the one that failed you and Ruben. I should have stayed and faced you and worked with you to save our family. Maybe it wouldn't have worked and we would have separated anyway. Perhaps that was what was needed. But I didn't. I took a bat and tried to kill a man instead of working within the laws of reason to find a better way."And what I said about the papers was true. I spared you and Ruben the humiliation of a trial. A trial that would have had to happen once that man recovered. And they would have been vicious. Vicious to all of us. I couldn't let that happen to Ruben or even to you. And please, Nan, forgive yourself. I have forgiven you. I have even learned to forgive myself for what I did."I looked into his eyes and I believed him. He had forgiven me and himself and he was at peace with what happened. But now a new thought occurred to me. How did he feel about me? Was that selfish? Was that thought not worthy of me at that time? He was. The shotgun barrel on the LeMat made a real difference in the way a gun fit into a holster.We spent the night in the hotel in Trinity. I was amused that it was in the same bed that we had used that night 4 weeks earlier. Joe didn't think that it was funny, so I didn't say much about it. We left Trinity the next morning and headed toward Willow Run. We got an early start, so we we in no hurry. There was no way to get home in time for one of Lupe's dinners, so we'd had the restaurant fix us some sandwiches to eat on the way. We found a shady place away from the road and enjoyed a picnic and each other's company for a couple of hours.We arrived back home in time for supper and found a distraught Lupe. There was nothing particularly wrong to upset her, she was just worried when we took so long to get home. Oh, God, now Lupe had taken on the job of a nervous mother! I told her why we were late, and she relaxed some, but I could tell that she was going to be a worry-wart from now on.We had.
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