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She had not been back at the Upper Bournemouth Saddle Club since that night because when Jasmin had agreed almost immediately after to wed the man her father had selected for her, Winona had been plagued with the severest of headaches that seldom seem to leave her peace.The loss of Jasmin from her side was a serious blow to Winona's spirit of adventure and the urge to experience all that life had to offer no matter how kinky or depraved. She felt as if a blanket had been thrown over her desire to experiment and to taste the tangy spice of life in all its imperfections.When her father's closest friend, Major Wilson a widower with a large estate in the Hampshire's offered to make her the mistress of all of his extensive fortune, she accepted with an air of resignation that bordered on the edge of madness realizing that she was totally and undeniably trapped in the circle of wifely duties and approaching motherhood. It was something that she had hoped would be a long time in the future. I know you have feelings for me, but I don’t have the same feelings for you. It’s not that I don’t love you, but I don’t love you like you love me, Bethany.“I really like being with you, and honestly, there are times when I wish I was different and could be with you. But I know myself well enough that I know I’d hurt you, badly, at some point. I’d love to have you as a friend. In fact, I think you could be my best friend. That’s the best way for us to be together.“To be honest, I don’t know how Elyse will deal with me and my issues. The only girls that I’ve found who seem to be able to handle it are Jennifer and Pia, and even Pia had issues with how I am. You know my past, Bethany, you know what I’ve done. I don’t think a guy like me is right for you.”She was sobbing softly, “I do love you, Steve! I want to be with you. I want to make love with you.”“I know Bethany. You’ve wanted that from the time you asked me to the dance. I care deeply for you, but in the end, I’m not the right.
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