He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.” The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.” The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in New Zealand and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.” The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in North Wairarapa. We settle small disagreements like this with the ‘Three Kick Rule.’” The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?” The Farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.” The attorney quickly thought. "Boy, it's right here for when Miss comes."She'd showed me. Twixt visits I'd secretly do the substitution, look at it in the mirrors, then shower it out before Girl arrived home from work.My hands shook as I worked it in, then hard brushed it thru. We'd put in special lighting and it helped.One morning I'd spied her looking at her bottom with the same hour glass hand mirror as I held now. We'd found it at an area swap meet."It's antique, boy, let's get it."She was naked, white and gleaming. She angled it one way to the wall of mirrors in her bathroom. Then changed the angle, back and forth, up and down, around and around she moved, her face impassive, eye lashes extended, at the last freezing her body in place as I backed away from my vantage point.I possessed that antique mirror now. I wasn't as adept at angling it-though the reflection of pink panties and near jet black hair was amazing."Boy!" Man, you're getting her pissed!" I chided myself, aloud, everything was aloud now."Goddamn.
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