We were one of the last couples to leave. We had arrived in Jayne’s car I drove her car home I must admit I held her hand during the drive home and a kiss on the cheek once we arrived.Mom went to make some coffee I followed her into the kitchen I stood behind and kissed her neck sliding both hands a round I cupped both her breasts. she turned to face me as I went to kiss her she moved her face my kiss landed on her cheek some how our lips finally connected she broke a part saying ‘no no this isn’t right we mustn’t’ her hands held against my chest gently pushed me away.I told her I loved her all I got back was ‘I’m your Mother son’s are supposed to love their mothers’Confused I knew then I had blown it big time I locked up the house I had a shower and got ready for bed I could see Mom’s light through the partially open door as I passed the door I heard her call ‘Ed we need to talk’ .Hesitantly I walked into Mom’s bedroom she patted her side of the bed as I sat she took my hand she. . a personal goal for me ... at least for this year. They were the trail of bread crumbs you followed back to me. Without your concern for them, you never would have come. You were so concerned about the chasers that you were blind to the clean base. It's still a bit of a blind-spot for you." What the fuck do you mean? I know it's the base I'm addicted to. I know that's how you got me." And yet when you come here begging me for a clean dose, the only thing you're worried about is what the chasers will make you do. You're not asking the big questions. You're just worried about how you'll spend the next 8 to 12 hours of your life."Sobbing."I don't blame you, really ... if I were in your shoes, I'd be worried about the chaser too. Will I turn you into a pliant little party-girl, but spare you the memories with something like benzodiazepine? Maybe I'll fuck you up on sodium pentathol, and let one of the psych kids drag every last private thought from your head. Or maybe I'll keep you.
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