"Patrick, a present? For me?" Did you set up the device I brought down the other day?" Yes, it is in the corner window right over there." She points down to the far end of the store, by all of the latex clothes."Perfect." I tell her.I lead you down to the stand in the window. It is a steel tube rising up off of a turntable that will rotate. At the top of the ninety cm tall steel tube is a curved metal Seat, about 3 cm wide. At the back of the seat is another steel tube that rises up another 1 meter. There are eyebolts up the higher steel tube.There are two d-rings in the turntable base.Sarah, the store manager walks up to us, "can I help?" Sure, help me lift her up on this stand then hold her there while I chain her in place."We lift you up and set you on the 'seat'. Then I take short lengths of chain and wrap them around your ankles padlocking them, then down to the d-rings in the base. I tether them snug, pulling your legs apart to about 40cm at your ankles.The chain from your. But never mind that. Did you enjoy the bike ride so far?”“Oh yes.”“Great. I’ll take you back now, but you’re more than welcome to come out with me again.”I put on my footwear and the helmet, we rode back into town, and he let me off, at my direction, in front of my flat. Before he rode away again he looked steadily at me.“So how about this weekend?”“Pardon me?”“How about riding out with me again this weekend? Unless you have something better to do.”“I don’t have anything better to do,” I said. “Not unless the Bitch (I had told him what I called her in my mind) gives me orders to the contrary, that is.”“Great,” he said. “See you Saturday morning. Ten or so?”“That’ll do fine,” I said.Friday was bad. The Bitch was in an awful mood for whatever reason, spent the entire day in the office, and reduced her secretary to tears. She also scrapped my entire next quarterly business plan, substituting some “inspired” thing she’d dreamt up, which anyone with half a brain could have told her would.
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