But if she was embarrassed in front of me, she wouldn't be letting me hug her, would she?Or did she still feel shame at the secret being revealed, but feel okay about it being revealed to me? Was she more worried about what Bert and Kim might think, now that they knew as well?Or was she so completely distraught in this moment that she couldn't handle the situation, period? Was she breaking down inside, feeling her world crashing around her so much that scarcely even realized who was holding her? Sasha had been going through a lot emotionally in the past couple of weeks or so. She'd broken up with her long-term boyfriend. She'd been ostracized by her original group of friends. And after spending more time with me and my clique in the aftermath, she now had to face the knowledge that WE now knew her secret occupation.And I thought I'd had shitty weeks.Not coming up with any words, I simply tried to hold her and reassure her with my very presence. Unfortunately, even that didn't last. "Straight up, no ice."She prepared one for both of us, gave me mine, then we sat down ateither end of her sofa. I sipped my Scotch - which was a really finemalt - while she placed hers on the coffee table and lit a cigarette.This gave me a few seconds to study her, to take in that amazing faceframed by her long dark hair, and the little black mini dress andmatching panty-hose sheathing a body that a top model would envy. Therewas no denying it: Carol Holt was *gorgeous*! I took another long sipof my Scotch, knowing I needed to play it cool and not look like I wasabout to start salivating."I thought it was past time we got to know each other, " she said,leaning back and blowing a stream of smoke towards the ceiling."I agree," I said. "We've never really talked before." My fault, I'm afraid. I've been very preoccupied." Understandable," I said. "Tell me about yourself, Carol."She took a sip of her Scotch before beginning."My mother died when I was young, so for quite a long time.
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