They are giving you a wonderful gift."Mixed emotions. Girls! But I was just a bald-headed little boy. The teen idols all had long hair—not cropped close to the scalp. What would they want with me? I couldn't even achieve an erection. My short time at Mackie had taught me that military regimentation could suck the fun out of any endeavor. I was going to find out if sex was an exception. The other guys—I didn't talk to them much. We guys didn't share feelings.Don't get me wrong. There was affection—of a rough sort. Some of the boys even were physically affectionate. Perhaps I owe Alfred Kinsey an apology for doubting him. I was a little too busy to re-read the landmark book, "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male." A lot had happened during the three decades since that book had been published. Besides, shameful behavior is one secret most people keep. I guess that is why women have only a "few" male lovers but every man beds a dozen different women."Squad Three, follow me," Cadet Corporal. I see them watch as my tongue traces first my upper, then my lower lip. I try to swallow. Hard to do when your salivary glands seem to have gone on strike! I reach for my water and take a drink. Very cold, very refreshing, it helps for the moment. As I look back at you, I smile shyly. Why am I shy? I wish I could say. As I gaze at you, I feel lost. It’s like you aren’t the man I’ve known all these years, and I’m confused. I know you are that same man, and that just confuses me more. Why didn’t I see this man, the one who seems to have appeared out of nowhere, all these years? This sexy, caring man has been here all this time and I didn’t see him?! Talk about blind! After our meal, you pay the bill and we leave. As we get into your car, you tell me you aren’t ready to drop me off yet. I smile. I’m not ready to leave you yet either. You ask if I’d like to go somewhere. I reply, anywhere, with you. We head back to your place. As we enter the house, it’s caped in darkness. Holding your.
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