Did I have the courage to stop being who everyone thought that I was, and to start being who I really was on the inside, namely a girl? My breathing was very shallow, and I could sense rather than feel my fingers trembling. This was a turning point moment in my life, I knew.I looked up at Stan. I knew that I must look like a trusting little girl, but that was the way that I felt. He smiled and asked me if I wanted to kiss it. He told me that he did not want me to do anything that I did not want to do. He said that he wanted me to make love to him, because my feminine soul wanted to make love to him as my man, maybe even my husband, but not because he wanted to make me do it against my will.I smiled up at him. I was beginning to fall in love with this big lug. He was so big, but I kind of felt like he was also a teddy bear, because he was so very gentle with me. I looked back down, and I soon found that I was lowering my head. I could smell his strong man smell. I had never smelled. We met Jordan for a few drinks at the local bar. Jordan had always been easy get along with, and he luckily always had a way of soothing my anxiety. Jordan made a few jokes and we all talked about work and life in general. Jordan asked if he could do anything to help calm my nerves before we headed back to our place. I shook my head. Even though I was anxious, I trusted Jordan and was glad my husband thought he was the one to do this with. We paid our tab and went back to me and Kyle's place. I wanted go to the bathroom and put on something a little sexier than my jeans and sweater. When I walked out Kyle told me that Jordan was in our room waiting. He would be up in a little while and he wanted us to start getting heavy before he came in. He also wanted try to stay out of my view, knowing I would feel guilty about it not being him. I went upstairs and found myself instantly relaxed seeing a Jordan in only his boxers waiting for me in my bed. I walked over and shyly said, "I'm kinda.
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