I don’t belong here, but if I don’t show up then vice is gonna catch on real quick to who I am. The tuxedo I’m wearin’ fits too tightly under the arms, and too loosely in the mid section, it definitely ain’t me. Normally I’d just rip this monkey suit right off my shoulders, but tonight again is a special occasion o’ sorts. I go an’ take this jacket off, an’ vice is gonna wonder why I have bullet holes and blood stains on the back o’ my shirt. Stupid old codger. Too short, too many questions, not enough sense in that thick head of his. Besides, he was gonna kill a lady. I had to put him down. He was a calm one, the cool, creepy kind of calm that makes a serial killer out o’ men. Psychotic calm. The former owner of my uncomfortable ass tuxedo wanted to off some dame because she was a smoker. I clubbed her with the grip o’ my pistol, but I let her live. The unlucky recipient of my brand o’ subterfuge however, wasn’t so lucky. He was a little thick, and a little short, short and stocky. “Good morning, Teddy. Mmm, that smells good.”“And how is the lady of the house feeling this morning?”“I feel so alive. What time did Bill leave? I fell asleep before I could say goodbye to him.”“I don’t know. He left you a note on the table.”Mom unfolded the note and read, Dear Doris, I will never forget this night I spent with you.I now know the kind of woman that I want in my life.She will have to be exactly like you, smart, independent, sexy, andfearless in every new undertaking.She will be very hard to find.Yours always, BillMom had tears in her eyes when she handed me the note and asked, “Did you read it?”“No, he left it for you.” I read the note and handed it back to Mom. “I have never known Bill to lie.”Mom folded the note neatly and put it in her pocket.“Bacon is done. How do you want your eggs, Mom?”“Over easy.”“Coming right up. You didn’t say anything to Bill about ... you know, about us?” I asked.“Of course not. I told him I searched the internet and spoke to my.
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