“That’s all I need, is to be caught with you.” She sighed. “Fuck, I’m tired of sneaking and hiding who I am.”I nodded, sensing Nina was on the verge of shaking up her life. “Do you know the line from T.S. Elliot about disturbing the universe?”“Yes, from J. Alfred Prufrock,” she answered. “I have a feeling my little world is going to get ‘rocked and badly disturbed’.”“What do you mean?”“I can’t marry Fred. The wedding is coming up in September. Invitations are about to go out. They’re already printed. The caterers have a down payment.”I listened, looking into her eyes and nodded. She looked up at me then closed her eyes as if shutting out the horror of her thoughts. I shifted on the hay to lie next to her and took her hand and kissed it. “I can’t go on like this. I have to stop pleasing other people and pretending.”“What are you going to do? Is there anything I can do to help?”“You already have.”“What do you mean?”“You woke me up. And though we just met, you made me realize what’s. ' she'd say. "Now she's gone and I can't even figure out what kind of nail polish to wear. You'd think I was a blonde or something."I guess I should have expected her to leave, but I didn't. Sort of came out of the clear blue sky. One minute she's there and the next minute she isn't and that's all th-th-that's all folks. I guess I shouldn't talk about it like that but I can't get too serious about it because it still hurts. Oh boy does it still hurt."I still love her. But I don't think she understands that."What I don't understand is how she could leave me. I mean, just because this shirt buttons one way and another shirt buttons another way, what's the BFD? I mean really, I don't understand. Is it that big a deal that I like pants that don't have a pocket on the butt? No, it isn't. I don't think so anyway. We're talking about pieces of cloth, sometimes they're arranged this way sometimes they're arranged that way but we're still talking about pieces of cloth, right? What's the big.
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