I took a quick nap until it was fully dark Actually I overslept by a couple of hours and it was well after midnight when I woke up. I treated myself to a refreshing mug of tea and relaxed back into my fugue state. It was all quiet still. I felt a knot in my stomach at the thought Emily might not be there.“Emily,” I called out. “Are you there?”“Seamus, is that you?”“Yes.”“I’m glad. You went all quiet for a while and I thought I was alone again.”“It seems we can only talk when it’s dark. It’s after midnight. When we lost contact, it was because dawn was breaking. So we’ve got about six hours before we lose contact again.”“I don’t want to lose contact with you again. I like talking to you. It gives me hope.”“Emily, I want you to try something for me. Can you feel anything?”“Yes, I’m wrapped in something. It feels like plastic.”“Can you move it?”“No. It feels solid.”“Listen. You’re dead. Your spirit has no substance. You can pass through it if you believe.”The next few hours seemed to. That Sunday of my first full week of being a whore, and knowing it, wasspent at home with my family. I helped Mom and Rita with the chores,and I even got to play dolls with Rita. I felt nothing but joy in doingsomething I'd always loved to do with my pretty little sister, and for afew brief moments I felt like a little girl again. I looked into herbeautiful, smiling face and knew that when she grew up she'd be moresexy and beautiful than I could ever hope to be. She was a regulargirl, she had a vagina, she was pure and innocent, she would be what Icould never be: a real woman. I was envious but also joyful in thatRita was as pretty as she was; I knew she would never be alone, butbeing a regular girl meant she could be with whoever she wanted, andthat one day that would be with some spectacular guy who would give herhis soul. I could look at her and I knew it instinctively; I wouldnever have the purity that she would have. She was a regular girl; Iwas just a slutty whore. I was.
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