I remain motionless as you turn the boy around to face me again. You roughly grab him by his neck, forcing him to his knees. I can see the devious smile across your face, and I know what is coming next. I remember when I was 18, the first time I came to your condo after several email exchanges where I made it clear I wanted to be totally used by an older man. You had me put on the blindfold and told me that there was to be not one word spoken throughout our entire evening together. It has been the same ever since, with you using your hands to roughly position me how you want me. Standing there watching you force the boy to his hands and knees, I begin to get more excited. As I thought, you reach into your sex bag and pull out the very large realistic dildo that you'd used on me so many times. I really want to see this and I wasn't disappointed at all. I watch as you take one hand and pry the boy's lips open, then put the head of the dildo just inside his mouth. The dildo must have. That’s Big’s problem. He’s got enough money in his accounts to last him years, so they’ll keep him around until it’s gone. None of us will last twenty-four hours past our VISA credit limit.Honestly, I don’t think Renie will make the four months. She’s just not here most of the time—I mean in her head. Mentally, she’s already gone. I figure one morning soon they’ll come in and zip her into a bag to wheel her out of here. I’ll have a devil of a time keeping them from zipping me up, too. They never listen to you, even if you’re telling them you’re not dead.I went outside today. It’s a pretty day. About seventy-two degrees, sunny, not much wind. Kind of day I love. Took my Kindle with me and found a spot shady enough that I could read. The nurse tried to park me in the sun. Stupid. Too much glare on the screen and I don’t want to go blind. They want us out of the room so they can change the beds. Of course, they have to make Renie’s up with her in it but they kick me out. Tried to make.
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