OK I’m game for that. $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play?”Stevie: “You pick a night.”Cletus is passing by Billy Bob’s hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor.Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall-down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, “What the world’re ya doing, Billy Bob?”“Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me,” says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob... “But me ‘n the wife been havin trouble. She stared at me wordlessly, her mouth in a caricature tableau of surprise and bewilderment. I sighed deeply. “How much do you want to make this go away? Forget it?”Staring at her intensely, I could actually envisage the cogs in her mind slowly but surely turn and grind to process what she had just heard, and when the realisation dawned upon her what I was proposing, the confusion gave way to indignation and horror. “Jesus, Tony! This isn’t blackmail! I don’t want your damn money!”Damn. My ace in the hole was now defunct. My face crumpled as I sagged into the chair, my face resting limply in my hands. The world was spinning out of control, an unreal and very unpleasant sense of vertigo overwhelming me. I felt my gorge rise, and my heart rate elevate, sensing the hallmarks of a panic attack I stood up to go to the sink.My ambitious overture must have drawn the ire of Fate, ironically in my desire to prevent humiliating myself further, I collapsed back into the chair thus securing.
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