When I grew old enough I just figured I was gay, and for a while I found happiness in the mental picture I had of myself. But when it came to actually having intercourse with another man, I found that the thought was revolting to me. Once again I was plunged into uncertainty.Eventually I settled on making love to women while thinking about men. But the nagging questions kept on coming. "Who am I attracted to?" "What am I?" It didn't help that I was ugly and a bit fat. Eventually I did find the truth that had eluded me for 21 long years. If it hadn't been for Aaron, I might be in a mental hospital by now.It was a sunny day outside but that didn't make any difference to me since I was sitting inside on my computer - as usual. From the outside my house looked like any other on that street, standard boring looking house smack bang in the centre of suburbia - perfect for a hacker that doesn't want to attract attention."Kiss my arse!" I said to myself as I killed off someone for the third. The case was brought before him but he dismissed it." Case? What case?" The case of Martin Cassidy, my father, who was arrested when I came forward and told the local authorities what he had been doing to me." What HAD he been doing?" Fucking me, Ham," she told him matter-of-factly. "The bastard had been fucking me ... using me to satisfy his sick, twisted, sexual urges, for many years. From the time he first noticed that I got my breasts and my hips and ass, he had me replace my mother in his bed." She laughed now but it was a cold, humorless laugh. "Aware of what my father was doing, my brothers decided that they could have their way with me too and, them being older and bigger than me, there was nothing I could do about it."Bahn was struck by the enormity of what she was saying. "I'm sorry, Kit." Are you?" she said, looking him straight in the eyes. "Are you ... sorry for me, Ham?" Of course I am. But why did..." My father lived another year before he died of cirrhosis of the.
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