She again started crying on my shoulder. "Are you here with someone?" she asked with a little girl lost voice."Yes, with my husband, today is his birthday and we were out looking for a good time," I told her. Now I began to realize that her soft warm body was pressed up against mine. I could feel the outline of her small breast as it rubbed again the fabric of my dress."I...I'm sorry to be bothering you," she said, "you two should be out having fun," she said as she broke her clinch on me."Nonsense," I replied. "If you don't have anyplace to stay tonight we have a room and you would be more then welcome to stay there."Then I saw Paul coming toward the table, as he came up I said, This is Paul, my husband, Paul this is," it was then that I realized that I didn't even know her name, but she looked up and said, "Yoko."I quickly explain to Paul about what had happen and that I had invited her back to our room for the night. I could see in Paul's face the disappointment that his birthday. Occasionally, it was almost as if he could see an iron lock around the book, the word ‘Private’ stamped across the cover in letters of purple, like an old bruise that made him physically wince when he looked at her. He often wished, during these times, that he could simply lay open his heart and let her take what she needed until she would let him back in. Over the course of years, as he kept falling in love with her, the richness of her text nourished his heart until it often times swelled to near bursting. And sometimes, in response to a slight, imagined or real, his heart would harden towards her for a time, until he could open himself up again, reducing the callous-like exterior that he had formed to the size of a scar. And while after a time he had several of these scars of varying sizes, their occasional twinge of pain was as nothing compared to the thought that struck him at times – what if I lost her? It was a simple thought really, but the enormity that lay behind it.
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