A teacher asked a student “If I gave you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples would you have?”The student said, “four”.The teacher said, “But one and one and one are three”.“I know”, said the student, “but I already have one apple.”There were 34 students in the class, and the teacher asked them, “Who’s the oldest child in your family? Among others, a girl raised her hand. “And who is the youngest?”, the teacher asked.The girl raised her hand again. The teacher said, “You’ve raised your hand twice.”. “Yes”, said the girl. “I’m an only child”.I went line dancing the other day.Well it was a roadside sobriety test ... Same thing.Another day without sports. Watching birds fight over worms.Cardinals – 3, Blue Jays - 1It’s been a bit of a strange day. First, I found a hat full of money. Then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar... Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers.Him: To tell the truth, I never knew she sold flowers.Confuse your doctor by putting on. I think both of us were a little bit scared of hearing what the other had to say—sure, it might be something we'd like hearing, but what if it wasn't? What if this beautiful, awesome creature beside me (whom I was falling for way too fast) was going to open her mouth and say, No, I'm sorry, I can't take it, you suck, goodbye. I mean, God, we haven't even been on a date yet. But if she said that... "Look," I said, "maybe we had just better get this over with." Will you tell the truth," she asked."Always," I told her."All right. What happened?" "Last night?" "Yeah." "What did Arie say?" "I'm not going to tell you. That way if you two have different stories, you won't know where you're contradicting each other."I smiled. "Wise girl. All right. Last night, after we dropped off Derek, Arie wasn't... She was in a bad mood. She said she didn't want to be alone. And my house is perfect for that, since there are no parents around. Originally I had her set up in a sleeping bag in my room, but.
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