I took a deep breath bracing myself. ‘Margaret says I am doing really well with my therapy, but I have this one really big fear and she wants me to talk to you about it.’ I kept quiet waiting for her to go on, but she hesitated. Finally, in a very small voice Alicia asked, ‘Are you going to stop loving me if I get fat?’ I hadn’t thought about the possibility of Alicia getting fat, so I thought about it before answering. I couldn’t imagine not loving her, but I couldn’t really picture her fat either. I tried picturing her as a round little butterball with a couple of chins and I started grinning. But then I knew the truth and I wanted to be honest. ‘I am worried that if you got fat you would be miserable. Your personality would change. And I couldn’t stop loving you, but if you couldn’t walk around New York or go upstairs quickly, that would be tough.’ ‘Not that fat, Ray! Oh my god, I could never get that fat and handicap myself. I meant what if I gained like… ten or fifteen pounds?’. .." Hey," I started to say, but lips met mine silencing me. The lips were soft, and I could feel no sign of mustache or razor stubble. A woman? I couldn't tell. Strong hands, but oh those lips; and the scent of roses again. I tried to stop thinking of the lips as belonging to man or woman and just enjoy them. The kisses started strong then became feather-light, drawing me forward to hang from my arms, straining towards lips that always seemed just a little too far away, and threatening my balance upon the platform. I whimpered in frustration.Hands took me again, holding the back of my head, and the lips drove against mine, opening my mouth, probing tongue pushing past my teeth. I moaned softly into the open mouth of my mysterious lover. In the midst of the kiss, I heard the soft snik-snik of a pair of scissors worked next to my ear. My heart jumped in my chest. I tensed. I imagined the scissors, sharp and bright, going into my neck, my belly, a breast.A hand slipped under my t-shirt.
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