I promise I'll be good!" She didn't even answer, she just smiled and pointed to the crib. After a few seconds she said, "You made your choice, Barbara, now it's time to accept it." Sadly, I climbed into the crib and held out my hands for the mittens she presented. I already knew that they would make me helpless and I hated her for that. After the buckles were secure she raised the side of the crib with a loud clang, pulled the canvass webbed top into place and began to fasten the straps with the little turn-keys provided. There were no locks. Without the mittens I could have escaped easily. But the mittens were in place and even so, where would I escape to? She said she would get a bottle for me and disappeared. It was then that I noticed the intensity of the burning in my bowels. I knew then it was only a matter of time before I had to mess these nice clean diapers and then sleep in them. I started to cry.She brought me a large baby bottle full of apple juice and after passing it to. I feel you next to my right arm, then the silk ribbon goes round my wrist. I know it's silk ribbon because you always use silk ribbons. You are always gentle when you tie me up, it feels so sleek and warming to have the ribbon wrapped around and my arm. Then I feel it, as you bind my arm to the chair. You start just below my elbow and go down to my wrist, gently but firmly wrapping me to the chair. I can't move my right arm now. I know I can't without even trying, because you always make it so that I can't. But I don't try, because you told me not to.Now you're on my left side, and I feel you with the ribbon again. Again you wrap it round my arm, and then bind me to the chair, from elbow to wrist. And I know I now cannot move either arm. But I won't try to move. You told me not to. I wait for it to begin. But it doesn't. I don't hear you move again, I don't feel you move again. I wait. The sun continues to beat down on my body as I wait. You've never done this before. You don't leave.
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