I replied, “Good.”As we looked at one another, we lightly clinked glasses and the deal was sealed.“What about contraception?” I asked. “Do I need to get something?”“I have an IUD and I have these.”Beth retrieved a three-pack of Trojan-Enz from her pocket and placed them on the table between us.“OK. Is that what you wanna use?”“You slept with anyone besides Lori?”“No.”“So, I’m OK if you’d rather not.”“OK.”She put the condoms away.It was an awkward moment. I stood and took Beth's hand. She stood turning toward me.“Well, this is it. You ready?”“OK.”I drew her closer to me and kissed her on the mouth. But, she pulled away; her body tense; her hands in front of her against my chest.I stopped, “What’s wrong?”“Sorry. I didn’t think you were gonna do that!”“Beth, if you're having second thoughts, we can stop and honestly say we simply shared a drink.”“No. No. Just a little nervous, I guess. But, why did you kiss me?! I thought we agreed not to get emotionally involved.”“It was an. But that’s the way it is with me. I, as I always do, got wrapped up in it and didn’t realize her complications and the things being asked of her by me. I am married, she is divorced and to top it off we work for the same company. Our offices are separated by 1500 miles. I guess that was a good thing. This kept us from running headlong into each other at high speed, something we managed to attempt anyway. We just never collided, really. I know in my heart that if I had been able to look deeply into her eyes in the first few days or taste of her lips just once, I would have done or given anything to keep her. As it was, she came to her senses long before I did and took steps to protect her self from my advances. I’m not sure and I guess I’ll never know for now she is cool and distant as she should be professionally to me. She is right, of course, but I don’t have to like it I just have to respect it. And I do. I would love to tell you more about her. I believe she is a wonderful person.
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