‘It’s just…’ He takes a deep breath. An important breath, by the sounds of it. ‘I just… I had this notion, this thought that I would kiss you once and you would just know, you know?’ I want to tell him this isn’t a movie… life doesn’t actually work like that. ‘Know what, Ben?’ I ask dangerously. I really want to know the answer, but I also totally don‘t. ‘Like I said, forget it, Ella. Please.’ He wipes an arm across his eyes. I watch him for awhile, and I’m sure he knows I’m watching him. But he’s done with the moment, with the grass and its magic. ‘We should go,’ he says and pushes himself up. His shirt sticks to his back. And he reaches a hand down to help me up, which I take. But he walks away before I have my balance and I’m forced to follow behind, watching his shirt unstick from his back. He walks like he does after his mother rags him out. Like he doesn’t care, like he’s so much more important than what just happened to him, like he can just go and leave it behind and it won’t. "I mean that seems well thought through."It's just the sort of thing someone might say back home. I feel absurdly relaxed. "Well, really it's just the stats analysis to see if my superficial impressions of what the data says are actually correct." Well, Vyerochka, here is some good news for you." Julia puts another cup of coffee down in front of me. "The data has been entered into a statistics progamme for you – SPSS for Windows.Are you familiar with that?"Yes, that was the programme I had intended to use. I met Dr Mendeleyev recently who told me the data was now in SPSS and I had a first look at it. At home though, I would have been able to speak with a statistician, but here..." Vyerochka: this is your home and yes I agree. Statisticians are very helpful. I should know because I am one! I will be able to guide your thinking. I heard that you had quite a busy day, recently?'She smirks at me. So there I am, humiliated once more and advised, in passing, of just how fully informed.
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