Our love making was just ok he still got me off. However I felt as if I was not giving him pleasure.I talked to Linda and Sara about it as they were there every weekend helping with Megan and Keith. They told me he had probably lost his ability to love once again due to the grief in his heart he had for Megan.”He blames himself Kate,” ”He also knows deep down you blame him as well,” Sara said to me.She was right as I blamed him everytime I saw her in that bed. Each moan of pain, each tears that trailed down her face, her daily struggle with recovering was his fault, I kept it within myself but in some ways I hated the man I had grown so fond of and loved.Perhaps that was why I enjoyed my time away from him. Linda informed me that I had a construction convention coming soon in Michigan. She informed me Keith never missed it however this year I was to take his place.I went to Keith telling him that he needed to attend it. Keith told me no as it was a Thursday and Friday of rubbing. It was so soothing and gentle the way Jennifer stroked my face and whispered how it was going to be all right. So loving, so understanding, but there was something wrong. I just couldn't put my finger on it.Just then I remembered, jumping up to look at my watch. "Oh, no Jenny! We're going to be late for orientation, it's five after two already!"Jenny chuckled, grabbing at my shirt as I tried to get up. "Relax Sarah, no one ever goes to that. It's just for new... well, you don't need it. The only thing that's going on today is the pep rally at three thirty. Coming?"She must have *known* that I didn't want to go to that *stupid* thing. "Prep rally" is what some of the other students were calling it. Chewing on a piece grass, I stared out across the empty football field, not really wanting to answer the question.Jenny tried to make eye contact. "I've got to go and get ready. See you there? Please?"She managed to get a smile out of me as she left which was about as close to to a "yes".
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