Instantly that core of shame I had inflicted on myself those past several years vanished! My experiments on the gay side of life were okay and so was I. In having shared them with someone I loved and admired I was now free to own them. Claire had said so and accepted me for exactly who I was and even praised me for something I thought was meant to be kept a dirty dark secret forever. I told her as much and thanked her."Oh, no bother. I am quite bi-sexual myself," she disclosed, much to my astonishment. "In fact, I had a woman lover for many years, a fellow teacher I met shortly after my divorce. I am so glad you understand and that I can tell you about her!" which she proceeded to do. Claire's love affair with this woman sounded like a very warm and passionate relationship that only ended with the woman's tragic death from cancer a few years before. "I have not been with anyone since," she concluded.This sharing between us only served to deepen our bond and to stoke our smoldering. This just got really weird, I thought."Was I doing anything else when you came over?" I asked, practicallyafraid of the answer."You were on your laptop for a minute or two, but that's about it. Youimmediately dove into bed when you closed it up. I took that as aninvitation, and you were more than ready to oblige," she explained.My God, I actually sent that email. What the fuck did I write?!"Listen, Janette, I feel like garbage. Do you mind giving me some alonetime? We'll meet back up later, I promise." Anything you say, shug," she said with a grin as she slipped on her robeand sauntered out the door."What the fuck did I just do to my life? Or Susan's life? What the fuckdid I write in that email," I asked myself as I furiously logged onto thelaptop sitting next to the bed. I saw that I had one new email... fromSusan.Sam,I'm glad you're doing 'such a better job at being Susan Clark' than me.All I wanted was for you enjoy yourself. And don't worry, I'm not'sleeping around with.
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