For amoment, he was taken aback by the voice — and then herealized it was female. He stiffened, and his heartpounded; it felt like it had been pounding now for awhile. She pushed him. “OK, now, keep on walking. Don’t turn around.” He tooka hesitant first step, and the pain in his back abatedsomewhat. “Stop at the end of the bridge.” He couldonly assume that she was keeping the gun (if that waswhat it was) pointed at him. His stomach wrung itself. “All right,” she said, coming up quickly behind him.“Now walk down.” She indicated the bank. “CAREFULLY,”she added. “I mean it. You try to run and… and, I’llblow your fucking head off.” There was a quaver in hervoice (he hadn’t heard it before) that suggested shewas either not completely sober or not completely sane.Either way, there was no reason to believe she wouldn’tcarry out her threat. He began sliding down the bank tothe rushing. In the strictest sense of the word, I am. That is to say that anyone who commits a rape at any time in their life is a rapist. It's like the old joke. Build a thousand bridges, they don't call you "Joe the Bridge Builder," Raise three strong boys, they don't call you "Joe the Father," but you fuck one sheep...Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I didn't go into Ellen's room with rape in my heart. I was trying to see her naked and maybe you don't see the difference, but it's a pretty big one.It was early Saturday morning, a few hours after midnight, when I decided I'd had enough fun for one night. After a full day of soul-grinding work, I'd gone to Sully's, a neighborhood bar popular with college kids. In fact, I've been going there since I was a freshman at Boston U. When I graduated, I kept my apartment. It made sense to keep my neighborhood bar.I'd started out spending too much money pouring drinks down my own throat and ended up spending even more pouring them into a girl named.
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