I like you enormously. I... I... Oh, hell, Holly, I love you! I don't want to do anything with you to get you messed up like you were before..." He trailed off, feeling he was making a mess of things, and embarrassed that he had let his feelings slip out like that.Holly had caught it, though. "Derry, I feel the same way about you. I'm having a great time just being with you... talking or going out or whatever. But, you really turn me on, too. Do you suppose two people who really respect each other, and are maybe coming to love each other, can love in bed too, without it turning into a problem?"Derrick smiled fondly at her. "I don't know, Holly. I guess you'd know about that better than I would. I know I want you desperately. Yet I'm happy just being with you. We don't have to go to bed, if you don't want." That's just it. I DO want! I'm worried about starting again, and going back to my old ways-and losing you as a result." Yeah. I can see that. I don't know what to say, Holly. I. The fear of being found out... It had me on a hyper vigilance high that I hadn't experienced since I first started jerking off at 11 or 12. I didn't hit puberty till later than most k**s. One of my older brothers friends was talking about jerking off all the time and so at my first opportunity I went into my mothers room got out a playboy and some lotion and found myself hard. I stroked for a bit and came on the page of my step fathers playboy magazine. I imagine there is a psychologists field day here!I closed the magazine, gluing those pages together and put it back in the stack. I was wildly excited and mystified about what had just happened. I hadn't even had a wet dream yet. I had no hair on my balls. My body must have literally just started producing cum because before that I really wasn't aware of myself sexually at all. I don't even remember feeling anything when I came. I didn't know where the cum was going to come out. I had some idea of it seeping out of the pores or.
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