One day I got a response from a Domina.I will refer her name as Varshini Ma’am. She instructed me to call her Ma’am. It was always a greater feeling when a dominant woman asks you to do something, more like a rule or a command. She is also from my state from India. As a submissive, I have to obey my Mistress, make and keep her happy.A submissive is a giver, gives happiness and pleasure to her. Varshini Ma’am had instructed me, she will accept me as her sub only after evaluating me for being a real submissive. She will give me tasks online as the first step. After that, she will meet me in person in a public space, for more discussion.After that only she will accept me as her permanent or a long term submissive. I was glad to accept her instructions. It will create a level of comfort for both of us to understand each other and help to generate trust. As a first task, she had given me ‘murga punishment’.She asked me to do a video of it naked with a victory sign at the end. It was. Charlotte responds to Jonathan. "Sure. There'll be no problem with that. Come along, Fifty."Charlotte leads me over to the plinth and I lay on it, face down, obediently, like an offering on an altar. Finally Jonathan speaks to me as he arranges his needles in their sterile packs and sets out his inks, getting ready for the task. "So, Fifty how are you today?" I'm good, thank you, Sir," I reply. As I speak it sounds almost robotic. It's a curious response, almost automatic, answering with what I know he wants to hear rather than actually saying what I feel. It's not an exchange between two equals. I'm not even sure it feels like an exchange between two human beings. It sounds like that special way a friend of mine talks to her cat. And Jonathan is taking less notice of my reply than she does of the cat's purrs and meows. Am I still human? Have I become some sort of "other"? Is that what being a slave does to you? That you adapt to the way you are treated and your status as a slave.
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