The way they wrote told me that this was something that they had just fantasized about and never had any real experience, James had had real experience, and knew exactly what he spoke of. Even still, there was a couple in which spawned long term friendships, friendships that I still enjoy today, and with them share a kind of love with. This love is different than with love between two people who see each other everyday, those of you who have these kinds of friendships know what it is I speak of. It is a type of mental love, a caring you could say, and a sharing of thoughts that most find hard to share with in someone they see everyday.I've gone about my e-mail adventures for a long time now, sometimes stopping altogether, in order to recoup, reassess what it is that I am doing, sometimes just breaking because I become bored of it. I looked for another like James, I felt empty without it, and though in my own life I had kept my new way of being, it just wasn't the same as it had been. " Okay, and how did you feel when I dropped you the first time?" Scared. Damn I was scared, but it was something different. I was scared of you and you were right in front of me." How did you feel when I attacked." I knew I was going to die. I tried running but you were always there. I couldn't get away. I knew I was going to die." So ... were you scared to death?" DUH!" Don't get smartassy with me kid. But you were able to fight back. You did damn good with that Field of yours kid. You maneuvered well, blocked and then when you attacked, you were very much on the money." What else mattered? I was dead. I thought a bit about it, I kind of knew what I wanted to do..." Yeah, Chuck didn't tell you my weaknesses but you figured them out pretty good. Once you threw that swing at my eye, I had seen enough to end it." You could have dropped me at any time?" Pretty much kid." So I was dead." Only if I wanted you dead kid." Then what did you want?" We already went there kid, guess you weren't.
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